Did You Know?

It's not easy to be in love. There is a delicate balance of give and take that must be consistently worked on by both participants.  It is like a never ending roller coaster ride that you hold on to for dear life lest you fall off.  Sometimes you're laughing and sometimes you're crying but overall you don't want it to end.  

It's even harder to fall out of love.  You recognize suddenly that the love you once felt is no longer there and in its place is dread and fear.  Dread about not fessing up and fear about if you do.

It's catastrophic to have someone fall out of love with you. If you've ever had it happen, then this is for you. - CAG

Did You Know?
By C. A. Griffin

Did you know that when you broke me I remained in denial even while
my heart pointed out the blatant truth to me in a thousand broken pieces?

Did you know that when you shed off my love so easily I continued to believe that
you had not left me discarded as if I were the skin sloughed off the bottom of your foot?

Did you know that when I waited for the explanation that never came and the apology that was never spoken that I made up all the excuses in my head, and showered them with tears so that they could grow into something to hold at night in my loneliness?

Did you know that I can’t remember when it finally hit me that it was over but that when it did hit, it left me numb and empty; then aching and filled with a pain so deep that it was as if I had contracted some emotional case of Dengue fever?  It left me silent with quiet heartache and then choking on words of anger and pain so confusing and so distraught that I created a new language using the sound of your name?

Did you know?

Did you know that it took more energy than a solar arc from the sun to regain my sense of self?  That it took the equivalent of the gravitational pull of a black hole to right my twisted view of the world?

Did you know that I understand my value more now than ever and that I realize that my worth is not rated by you or any other man or woman but by the where, what, when, how and why of my understanding, desires and achievements and that my successes and failures have carved me into the diamond that I am?

Did you know that I don’t hate you or fear you and that I did once just a little and for a little while and then a lot? That I forgive you but I won’t forget and I won’t hold a grudge and I sleep good at night knowing that I’ve finally arrived at my healing and that it all began with loving you?

Did. You. Know?

06202014 CAG