Note to Self...

Note to Self: Reflection does not always need to end up with thoughts of regret and deep seated feelings of guilt.  Yes, you know you made mistakes but those are now in the past. Take the lesson from your errors and move on.

The sad moments of loss are heavy and will not easily dissipate. The ache of loved ones who are gone will beat in time to your heart.  Nothing can remove that; it is as it should be.  Grief works its way out through tears and laughter; just let it be so that you can heal. 

But instead of only guilt and pain, wrap yourself in memories of love and happiness as much as you can and let it guide you into 2013 with a hopeful heart and strong resolve.  Life is journey for which there is no road map.  Our compass is our faith; our sustenance is in love and hope and our companions are our loved ones both here and on the other side.

Hope for the Life of You.
<3 Always & Peace Forever
- CAG

Heartbreak...

I sit here, in my home, emotionally reeling as I finally give over my thoughts to the devastation that has wreaked havoc on so many this past year; these past months, these past few days. Tears are falling so freely for so many that I do not know and sadly will never have a chance to know because their lives have been snuffed out by tragic events of natural causes or the horrific agenda of a deranged individual. There are no words to comfort the families that have lost so much. There is nothing that can be said or done that will erase the pain, the unimaginable grief that so many are suffering through. I have not one clue as to how the parents must feel, the families, the siblings, the friends…All I can do is cry and pray.  Consider, the story I found from a friend’s page about Victoria Soto.  She hid her twenty-seven students in a cabinet and closet and told the shooter that the children were somewhere else before he shot and killed her.

There are others like her, I am sure. Yesterday, I like so many, many others, raged at the senselessness. What caused this? Why did this happen? The truth of the matter is that whatever answers we find to those questions won’t bring them back. I could feel myself spiraling into a dark abyss and so I shut off my head, prayed for the dead and the families and tried to put things in my emotional safety vault.

Then I found this story about Victoria Soto. Her story broke through the barrier that I built to hold back the crushing sadness. Reading about Victoria Soto’s courageous act reminded me that it’s okay to cry, to be angry and to wail here at my desk. That to think this woman so unselfishly acted to save the lives of her students, unhinged me and even though I do not know her, it broke me, and my God how thankful I am for her bravery for children I do not even know. I know it may seem that I am rambling here…I guess I am.

I don’t know the answers of how and why. I’m not so sure that I care. I don’t know what the answer is to stop this from happening again. I’m not sure there is one. All I am sure of is that nothing is for certain. That time is short. Fill your time with love. May we all find a moment to hug someone and let them know the depth of our love. Sending up prayers.

Yeah It's Tuesday...Bring It

Tuesday is NOT a day for wimps.

Tuesday is a HARDCORE day. It's far enough from the weekend to actually make one squeamish. It's a day filled with deadlines and spreadsheets; a crippled scanner, weak coffee, hour long conference calls each with an agenda the length of your arm with at least one dysfunctional team member participating; phone calls from vendors, telemarketers and international cold callers all seeking to pluck "just five minutes of your time" to sell you the next best thing since stink eliminating air freshener and random unexpected acts of stupidity during your commute that will test the limits of your sanity.

Yeah Tuesday is NOT for wimps. Luckily, I'm one HARDCORE woman.

Are YOU hardcore? Yeah, I thought so. Go. Get. You. Some.