Love is a double edged sword. Love and relationships; they are beautiful in
their gifts to us. They are also the
harbingers of our greatest pains to come. From the day we are born, we fall onto the double
edged sword of love in a pact of never ending commitment to life. We fall into it. We fall.
Love shreds away our loneliness and despair. From the womb to the grave we are committed. Ah but love, that duplicitous emotion. It cuts both ways and it cuts deep. It is the very thing that can heal us and
ruin us in equal measure. It can arrive
unbidden and it can depart unexpectedly. It sneaks up on us when we least
expect it and can slowly dwindle away to nothing before we even knew that it
was dissipating. It sets us free even as
it anchors us.
That feeling of euphoria that you get when you’re together, God, how
indescribable is that? You can’t wait to see her. Every minute you’re away is like an
eternity. He makes you laugh and you
bask in the warmth of his embrace. All
she has to do is smile and you melt. He
whispers your name and your knees go weak.
Together you are invincible and your future is filled with all the cliché
totems of love; walks on the beach; seeing the world through each other’s eyes;
a home and a family. You’re so happily buoyed
by hope. Your friends and family think he’s
great; they think she’s the best thing that ever happened to you. Sure, some friends are jealous and maybe even
a few warn you about him. They tell you
she’s not the girl for you. They get mad
that you spend so much time together and when pushed, you’ll choose your lover
over them because, well because, you’re in love. Love has pierced your heart and you bleed with
wonder, peace and joy.
But then something happens and she walks away. He leaves.
She doesn’t want to be with you. He is not ready to commit to you. Your dreams are yanked into the cosmos by the
black hole gravity of a broken heart. The
hopeful future that you used to hold in your hand is now light years away. There are unanswered questions, and even
worse, there are answers that are like barbs along the blade of love. They rip you open even more. The anger that she left you, the hurt in
acknowledging that he has pulled away; the fear of knowing that the
relationship is over; it all seems fathomless.
You ask yourself over and over if it was something that you’ve done; can
you do something to fix it? You feel
powerless. Family and friends try to
help. They say things you want to hear
and things you can’t bear to listen to.
They say “Don’t worry. It will
get better with time.” They tell you
that they’re here for you. Truths fall
from their lips and land in your head and they are no more comforting than the
blade that is cleaving your heart in two.
None of what they say is new to you.
It’s not something that you don’t already know. Haven’t you said the very same words to
someone else who became one of the broken hearted? You just don’t want to know that those words
now apply to YOU. Love has pierced your
heart and you bleed with anger, pain and resentment.
But what we, the walking broken hearted, fail to acknowledge
is that we will heal. We will. With every damn moment that passes; with each
tear that is shed; every single hole we punch in the wall; each picture we
burn, every single primordial scream; day by each freaking ugly new-why-is-the-sun-shining-day,
we heal. It is unnoticeable. We don’t see the scar forming over our
heart. We don’t feel our mind sealing
the rift of hurt over with a bridge of hope. We fail to recognize our own
strengths and capabilities to get past this heart rending moment. But they are there; invisible and
continuously growing.
What can we do when our hearts are breaking? How can we stop the madness that is seeping
into our every thought on how to fix what went wrong with our love, with our
relationship? There is one thing: LET. IT. GO.
Pull love’s sword from your heart and allow the pain to cleanse you so
that you can heal and move on. You can’t
make her stay. You can’t remain where
you are when you are no longer the beat of his heart. You can’t fix the
relationship but you can allow your heart to begin the process of healing. LET HIM GO. LET HER GO.
Yeah. Sure. You’re probably thinking and rightfully so, that
this is easy for me to say. You’re right it is easy for me, now. Yet, it wasn’t always something that I could
say so simply. I can say it now because,
damn it, I’ve plodded step by agonizing step through that hellacious fire walk of
a broken heart with bare feet and I have the scars to prove it. I did
it with the help of friends and family.
I did it with prayer and meditation.
I did it by staying focused and learning about myself and loving myself
enough to walk on the burning embers until I reached the cool ground of the
land of peaceful living again.
You know what? Eventually,
I became ready to accept love again.
Why? Because; I am human. We are human.
We are bound to love and to be loved just as we, are unfortunately, bound
to hurt and to be hurt. However, we are
also bound to heal, grow and to love again.
We can’t help it. If one is to
truly grab everything there is about living life fully then one has to be ready
to wield the sword of love. We will pierce
each other with it; we will fall on it ourselves committing a macabre kind of
pact with life. To live is to love. To love is to live. Love is what drives us. A lack of love is what will end us.
To shut down your heart to love means a slow, meaningless
and agonizing life. You’ll always feel
adrift and unconnected; and if you leave love out of your life then you leave
room for hate. Hate will end us. So love
and love deeply. Live and Love. Love and Live. Yes, one way or the other, that sword will
pierce us and we will succumb to it with joy again and again; and the pain will
come again and again. He will leave. She
will leave. The reasons will be as
varied as the stars that twinkle in the dark night sky. You didn’t really know each other as well as
you thought. He changed. She
changed. You grew apart. Someone new
came into the picture. Even after
finding that one mate that is your forever love, the reaper of death can arrive
and take him or her away.
Love yourself. Love them. If the relationship is blossoming then let it grow. If it should end then let it. Don’t be afraid of love. Don't be afraid to let go. Don’t be afraid of living again. Love is a double edged sword. Grab that sucker by the hilt and swing into
life with everything you’ve got.
Live, Heal & Love for the Life of You.
<3 Always & Peace ∞
04172014 CAG
