The Challenge

The Challenge - C. A. Griffin August 29th 2012

We are a people hewn by challenges; physical, mental, psychological, environmental, financial, emotional, career, political and intellectual challenges.  We meet them head on, head bowed, head averted, head up and head buried in the ground…but still we meet them.  Even if we ignore the challenges, they still are met.  Are they not?  You may disagree.  That’s fine.  But you must admit that we are a people hewn by challenges.  We are shaped by them, colored and stained by them; they leave their tattoos and brands on us.  They move us backward, forward, sideways, they can even cause us to stand still.  We are met by challenges because we are always on a quest; seeking something, reaching for something, wanting…something.

I was walking down the street today in slightly detached frame of mind – part of me wondering what I should write today and the other calculating what it would cost to move; another part of me was figuring out what juice concoction to drink today…the list goes on.  I do that often; think about a hundred things at a time while walking; I’m sure a lot of you do. 

I was walking down the middle of the sidewalk, it wasn’t crowded – a few people behind me a few in front of me walking in both directions.  A subway grate on my right, stores on my left.  The sun was bright and the sky clear.  A lot of detail, I know but I want you to see in your mind the environment I was in when I describe what happened next.  So I was walking down the middle of the block and there was this woman walking towards me.  She appeared to be older than me, well dressed woman, wearing glasses.  She was walking moderately; I was walking a bit faster.  It became clear to me that we were in each other’s path. 

Normally, I would move out of the way, step aside.  But for some reason I held my ground…so did she.  We didn’t so much as look at each other in the eye, as we were aware of each other – you know that kind of passive aggressive acknowledgment that happens when you are in close proximity of another person.  We weren’t threatened by each other but I sensed this kind of “I’m not moving YOU move” way about her.  I wonder if she sensed the same about me, because it was there.  Neither of us moved out of the other’s way. We simply kept our pace, we didn’t slow down and at the very last moment, I moved ever so slightly to avoid shouldering her.   I had no more than a few seconds to wonder about that before it happened again.  This time a woman, about my age give or take a year or two and the same sense of realization about her knowing of my approach just as I knew of hers, played out yet again in my head…and we had the briefest of eye contact.  Neither of us moved, but now having just played this game of pedestrian chicken a few moments before I had an edge to me.  I watched her movements, not her face.  I wanted to see if she would move and how she would move.  She didn’t. Neither did I.  Once again, I moved ever so slightly out of the way.

I got to thinking – what would the reaction be if I didn’t move, if I didn’t acquiesce and via a slight of shoulder shift to avoid my shoulder butting into hers?  If a bystander were watching, would I have been seen as the aggressor; the transgressor, the moody person, the inattentive pedestrian, the uncaring person or would either of those two women have been seen that way?  How did they see me?  I saw each of them as a challenge.  Their refusal to move as a threat to my presence – in my head “what you think you’re better than me, that I should move and not you”.  Why did I think that way?  Why did my aggression grow to a perceived threat?  Was there some underlying sixth sense that allowed me to “feel” or see their aggressive behavior or was it my imagination?  Why did I move?  Did I feel inferior and submissive or was I simply avoiding becoming the aggressor?

It made me think of posing a test.  One where you take different individuals male or female of all ages, in all modes of dress, from different races, religious and political backgrounds and put them in the same situation.  Put them on a semi crowded street walking towards each other; with space on each side to move (as a balance test the street can be narrow and there’s very little room to pass) see who moves and how.  Did they look at each other or did they take note of each other’s presence?  How did they move?  What was the other person’s reaction to the one who made the adjustment to pass?

We are a people hewn by challenges; physical, mental, psychological, environmental, financial, emotional, career, political and intellectual challenges.  We meet them head on, head bowed, head averted, head up and yes head buried in the ground…but still we meet them.  Because even if we ignore the challenges they still are met.